People who use the phrase "it's a free country"

I'm really a big fan of the whole 'free country' thing. I'm quite proud (hopefully un-jingoistically) of Britain's long history of parliamentary democracy, universal adult suffrage, freedom of speech, freedom of the press; and the unavoidable maxim that an Englishman's home is his castle. I think I'd probably even extend the whole home/castle thing to the Scottish and Welsh, and women too. Gay marriage, schools teaching about homosexuality, the right for absolute lunatics to have stupid protests about religion. I'm all for it.

Obviously being a free country isn't all about gays and religious lunatics. I should probably emphasise that I am making no comparisons between the two. Gays are normal people, religious lunatics are, well, lunatics. But you know, believe in and live in whatever manner you please as long as it doesn't harm other people. So yes, if you want, carry banners around the place proclaiming 'death to all who insult Islam' because that doesn't actually harm people. It just makes you look like a complete simpleton, denouncing freedom of speech using the medium of freedom of speech. It's then the not very taxing job of sensible people to make arguments against the 'kill people for making fun of something' brigade to ensure their continuing unpopularity.

Unfortunately the phrase "it's a free country" is rarely used in a context that comes close to denoting any of the above. It is more readily put to use by people defending what they see as their inalienable right to be an arsehole. So the person playing their music out loud on the bus, the man knocking into the back of your chair in the cafe, or the drunken neanderthal making advances on you girlfriend at the bar, are all likely to use this pathetic defence when asked to stop. Look, my mentally challenged friends, I am now going to instruct you as to why your utterance of this phrase is so monumentally stupid. As a result of us 'living in a free country' I realise that what you are doing is not illegal. On balance it's probably a good thing we don't have laws against prodding the back of someone's chair, intentionally or otherwise. That is precisely why I politely asked you to stop, instead of calling the police.

So bravo idiot, we can agree on this point: no laws have been broken. But let me also remind you that there are no laws against crapping your pants or taking a bath in your own urine. Just because you're allowed to do something doesn't always mean you should. You see we live in this thing called a society, which, these days, tends to involve many people living in rather close proximity to each other. The way we have learnt not to live in a world whereby everyone does as they please - culminating in some kind of terrifying uncivilised, murderous, phone-music-on-bus free for all - is through the acceptance of some common guidelines known as manners. The very 'free country' mantra you so proudly recite like some kind of uncritical four year old, is based on the premise that all humans are able to display a level of empathy towards others and should therefore be granted a level of freedom to do as they please and a right to vote about issues that will affect society. By being an unflinching prick, not only is your 'free country' defence completely out of context, but your actions are undermining the very foundation that it is built on. Dick. FC