I hate to be the bearer of upsetting news. Like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, he probably doesn't want everyone to know it, but as of yesterday afternoon, i can confirm that Owain Rhys-Mumford, our beautiful, lazy, 'having-a-job-is-more-important-than-working-for-us-for-free" intern has contracted that most brutal of scabular ailments, IMPETIGO. Sounds jolly doesn't it? WRONG. The affliction most commonly referred to as 'student leprosy' is a vile, socially-imparing shitstorm of infectious stickiness and not, as it might sound expounded in a jovial fashion, a television magician's catchphrase.
We senior journalists here at Hot Rant must implore all our readers to help Owain help himself by avoiding any contact with the boy, even at a distance, and stop him putting any pressure on his immune system by exerting any energy through socialising. This means calling him, emailing him, or even acknowledging his existance if passing him in the street.
Wolfpack may have temporarily lost it's wind, but by Mumford we will return with a gale. Dr. TH
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