I'm pretty sure we haven't posted this before, but i'm not sorry if i'm mistaken. In a show of unabashed stream-of-consciousness lunacy, a Virgin Atlantic customer has created one of the classic personal letters in the history of the english language. The seamless seguing from rage, to childhood disappointment, reluctant professional respect, referencing of morbid gifts, and personal insults is quite extraordinary. Hugh Hefner's aformentioned confused admirer has real competition for the accolade of 'Hottest Rant of the Noughties'. If anyone would like to help arrange a ceremony for this and collect all these maniacs together (perhaps a BBQ in Fred's garden) then drop us a line.
Tasty morsels:
"Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in?"
"I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard."
"More mustard than any man could consume in a month."
"I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point."
"When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese."
Note the consistent intimacy with which said anonymous Giles Coren-alike refers to the megalomaniac 'All-bran' Branson. Remember how say they the majority of murder victims know their killer? Or maybe it's rape victims. It doesn't really matter either way, Richard is doubtless a broken man after this. TH
1 comment:
In a classic game of internet one-upmanship I'm going to propose that this hand written letter of complaint to an airline is actually better http://www.tressugar.com/1058046?page=0,0,0 A seven page epic about the problems with seat 29E and its less than ideal proximity to the plane toilet. Full of scrawling, almost desperate, handwriting and accompanied by diagrams, this is my favorite complaint letter ever.
Post a Comment