Swine Flu

So Swine Flu has erupted pretty much at the bottom of my road and like every other two-bit blogger I'm going to write about it. I'm probably a good couple weeks behind the curve on this one, I mean we've had The London Paper ("IT'S IN THE CITY") casting it's usual level headed and balanced eye over the matter. But even they seem to have given up trying to convince us of our imminent death and have reverted back to the more serious matter of documenting Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga's unofficial race towards contracting AIDS.

Coverage on the internet, populated as it is by immature nerds (I should know), has, for the most part, been in it for the LULZ. I say 'for the most part' because it would be crazy to ignore this man who is taking it very, very seriously indeed:



Seriously. "Securedeboadersandvacationindiscuntry".

Ignoring the utter impracticality of his suggestions (because the economic effects of not allowing anyone to enter or leave America just in case there is flu pandemic would really be offset by making everyone vacation within the US) shouting at a video camera and then uploading the results on youtube with all the other luminaries of our time, seems an unlikely way to get this turned into official government policy.

Of course various other crackpots, religious and otherwise, couldn't help chipping in with their views on the subject, key highlight include:

"Swine Flu a Pestilence of the End Times Christian Living"
"Swine Flu Genocide: Part 1 (Satans Homeland Minions Exposed)"
and "You fucked up huh, you know your ass is doomed" (Ok so not really, but it could be about anything)

I'd take these a little more seriously if they actually made any sense. What the fuck is 'End Times Christian Living' anyway? Meanwhile if you're really going to expose 'Satan's homeland minions' you probably shouldn't put that shit in brackets. It sounds like it might be important. Oh and before you ask I haven't watch part 2, mainly because Part 1, not content with being full of excretable lies, is also very, very boring.

The next video, I consider second favorite only to Mr Securedeboadersandvacationindiscuntry.

"Swine flu... is Christianity to blame?"

Now maybe Youtube has a policy that prevents a simple ten minute display of the word 'No'. That would explain the insanity that follows in this video which can be neatly summarised as stuff and zany rituals that make no sense and are a waste of time.

Unbelievably Mr Whatsnext?Illtellyouwhatsnext actually has the last laugh and maybe we should end with his pearl of wisdom: "HELLOO. YOU DON'T GET SWINE FLU FROM FREAKIN PORK. PUTTING A BAN ON PORK IS LIKE LINDSAY LOHAN REFUSING TO GO IN THE OCEAN BECAUSE THE DOCTOR TOLD HER SHE HAD FREAKING CRABS." Nice metaphor...