The Daily Mail. Supporter of the buffoon, hater of video games, and purveyor of bona fide news gems such as this. Where to start? Treason, stabbings, nibbling, public disturbances, racial tension, R.E., ludicrous user comments... this high point in the last decades of forward thinking journalism has it all covered. Now, because I feel I cannot do the piece justice (and as I am at work and briefly unsupervised), here are a few tasters of the literary gold enclasped within the Mail's Nike-ad riddled latrine of a website:
"I was hungry, I had to eat the swan. I killed it, I stabbed it."
"But vets, who carried out a post-mortem on the animal, said it was unclear whether it had been attacked by the knife or Miah had bitten the swan's neck himself."
"Using a pair of binoculars to get a closer look, Mr Cuthbert watched as Miah picked up a carrier bag and saw the head of the swan topple out."
"I hate the Queen, I hate this country."
"Whats wrong with just eating a piece of toast or something?"
- Bev, Preston, England, 22/11/2006 18:50
Dinkus Morgan would be so proud.
TH
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