Returns, developments and books

Yes it has been a while since the last update but me and Tom are two people who like coming up with ideas and then doing nothing about them. In other words we are lazy. If I wasn't near-certain that it was just me and him who were going to read this I would probably launch into a rant about how great our sitcom / journal / bookshop-come-illegal unpasteurised cheese shop ('Raw Books' if you were wondering) / space program was going to be. As it is I will leave that for another day and simply ask you to be grateful that we ever got this half baked project off the ground.

Anyway since graduating we have both failed to do anything useful and the plus side of this is a massive backlog of things to hate and rant about. Starting out, I'm sorely tempted to launch into a tirade against my most hated and despised topic du jour, i.e. my life. However I'm pretty sure nobody wants to hear the self indulgent wallowings of man with no real problems except having a degree and not really knowing what to do with it. As such I'm going to hold off and propose a novel direction to this blog. Yes I'm still going to rant about the man who attempted to make me inhale second hand heroin smoke whilst I was asleep on a rail replacement bus in Streatham. Seriously heroin addicted tramp, the bus was 150m away from where it was terminating. However I'm also going to suggest that not all of the rants have to be about stuff we hate anymore. So here goes:

First up is a brilliant rant from Charlie Brooker about the whole Brand-Ross saga. Check it out HERE. The topic of my first positive rant, is someone else's rant about something they hate, I acknowledge that, but let's view this as a gentle breaking in period. I'm not usually a great fan of Charlie Brooker but I think he pretty much hits the nail on the head here as far as I'm concerned.

Second is a book that I'm reading at the moment called 'The Last Mughal' by William Dalrymple. It's a history of the last Mughal Emperor of India and the Indian uprising of 1857 and it is brilliant. This reviewer may have a point that the book does devote a lot of it's pages to telling the British side of the story and concentrates on events in Dheli almost exclusively. That said it's probably one of the best history books I've ever read. It gives a hugely detailed account of a plethora of peoples experiences of the uprising without ever getting stuck in boring minutiae. Pre-uprising you get a fascinating insight into the Mughal's luxurious but impotent lifestyle which seems mainly to have revolved around writing poetry and being cared for by his many wives. The book really takes off with the uprising though. There's stories of brutal violence, high-jinx escapes and reprehensible murders on both sides. Dalrymple doesn't shy away from the horrific atrocities committed by both sides, giving detailed insights into how both the British and Indians justified them.

Not unexpectedly it's the ludicrous stiff upper lip attitude and ridiculous sensibilities of the British officers that provide some moments of comedy. Firstly there is General Nicholson a violent man who hated India and was unbelievably curt. A typical letter of his to his superiors reads:

'Sir,
I have the honour to inform you that I have just shot a man who came to kill me.
Your Obedient Servant,
John Nicholson'

The man seems to have been an actual lunatic. On his death bed, apparently barely able to breath or talk: "He was, however, still well enough to fire a shot from his pistol through the side of the tent to shut up his irregular cavalry, who had gathered in vigil outside his tent." Strangely enough he actually inspired a religious cult while he was alive whose adherents thought he was a descendant of Vishnu. "Nicholson tolerated his devotees as long as they kept quiet; but if 'they prostrated themselves or began chanting they were taken away and whipped."

Another example of insane British manners comes from the letter a young officer wrote to his mother the night before the British were due to storm Delhi. Musing about the effects that this near suicidal, full frontal attack on the city might have on him he wrote: "I hope it won't make me swear, though that is almost allowable for you are mad with excitement, and know not what you are saying. but I will strive against it with all my might."

It all reminded me of the attitudes on display in Nick Foulkes' 'Dancing into Battle' about the Battle of Waterloo. In a manner echoed by Nicholson's brevity of and nonchalance, Lord Uxbridge, the commander of the cavalry wrote this letter to his wife:

"Dearest Cha,

Be bold, prepare for misfortune, I have lost my right leg. A miracle might have saved it but for the sake of you and my dearest children I have taken the better chance of preserving my life.

God Bless You all."

Anyway what I'm basically saying is that it is a great book. I picked it up in Fopp for £3. I love that shop.